Thursday, August 18, 2011

Heavy Hearted....

This week has been a pretty hard week! My hometown of Levelland lost three very special people this week. One was Christie Devitt, she and I went to high school together. I can honestly say I have never met anyone like Christie. She is so genuine and sweet.

So with the loss of Christie this week it had me thinking. I had surgery last week and was starting to get frustrated with life. Getting frustrated with having only one arm, not being able to hold Farrah, having to ask for help, having to slow down and feeling like I have been replaced in some friendships. If you know me at all, these things are important to me! My family and my friends. To top it all off, I also had to quit my new job this week before it even started due to my surgery. I'm so thankful that I don't have to work, but I was going to be a teacher for our KDO program at church. It was perfect because Farrah was going to be able to go with me and I was going to start being able to start saving some extra money for fertility. I know my plans aren't my own but it's still disappointing!

It kills me to tell Farrah "No, I can't hold you baby." But I have done lots of sitting and holding Farrah in my lap and that is truly wonderful! I have to slow down to sit and hold Farrah which does this mommy a lot of good. Farrah's little world has been turned upside down this week. We've had lots of family helping with her and she is so tired. So I am choosing to slow down and letting us both rest. Even if it means watching Toy Story 3 multiple times a day...haha!!

Asking for help is very hard for me to do as well. I am a VERY independent person and pretty much do everything on my own. My biggest challenge this week was figuring out how to keep my house clutter free. If my house is cluttered, I will not rest. The first thing I did was make my huge bed all by myself! I did it one handed and it was a challenge, but I did it! It didn't look great but I did it. After that I put dishes in the dishwasher one handed, and after that I was on a roll....well as much as one can do one handed. Haha!!

I have discovered this week, especially after Christie, what I need most is God and my family. My little family of three is the most important thing to me and as long as I have my husband and my daughter, then I am truly blessed! We all need friends but I have to remember, I married my best friend. James, you make me laugh everyday and make me proud to be your wife. You make me want to be a better person, wife and mother.

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