Monday, November 24, 2014

IVF Cycles - Part 1

After fourteen years of trying to have a baby we have finally reached our last option.....IVF.  This is both exciting and scary at the same time.  The IVF part doesn't scare me it the not knowing part that does.  I know with out a doubt that this is what we are suppose to do next.  I know God is in control but it's still scary to walk a path that you have no answers for.

First week of July we started the process of IVF.  I went to Dallas for routine sonograms but this time they had to do a scope to see if everything was alright.  There is a reason they put you asleep when you have scopes done.  This is the second time I've had this done in my doctors office, the first time being two years ago.  Let me just tell you it doesn't get any easier!  Thankfully everything turned out just fine and I was given the clear to start my shots.

I was a bit surprised when my box of medicines came was HUGE!  After I opened it I was relieved to find that most of it was packaging for the medicine to stay cold.  Don't get me wrong it was still a lot of medicine.

I started out with having to take one shot and two pills everyday for four days.  After that I had to wait for more testing, blood work and sonograms.  After that I started with two shots a day.  There was one drug that totally stressed me out.  We had to mix three different vials and put it into one syringe.  This was stressful because if we messed it up, we messed up the whole cycle.  This one type of medicine I had to take in the morning so James was brave enough to take on this task of mixing this medicine.  The only problem was he had to give me this shot before he left for work because once it is mixed you have to give the shot.  Every morning James would wake me up at 5:45 am to give me this shot then I would go back to bed.

This is James mixing one of the shots for me.

The evening shot was a different medicine that was refrigerated and let me tell you I learned quick to warm that one up!  Putting an ice cold shot in your stomach burned!!  I should say that my poor husband was the one giving me all my shots.  The one time I gave myself a shot I bruised so badly.  By the way every shot was given in my stomach.

After another a trip to Dallas for more blood work and a sonogram I learned that I had five follicles on my right side with two really big ones and three smaller ones and five smaller follicles on my left.  From what I understand this was a great thing!  Ten follicles was just what we were praying for!  Of course the more follicles the better our chances were.  After this appointment I was told I had to add another shot to my daily task.  Three shots a in the morning and two at night.  The only thing with the new shot was that it would slow down the growth of the follicles.  We needed all ten of these follicles to GROW!

We had to wait a couple of days for another sonogram and blood work.  James and I couldn't decide with this appointment what we should do.  Do I drive down and come back in one day or do we both go down and wait?  The hard part was with my appointment times being at 10:30 am every time.  That was the latest because of the blood work and that meant we had to leave the house by 4 a.m.  Thankfully, James decided to go with me and we would just stay til it was time for the retrieval.

We left the house bright and early and stopped in Abilene for breakfast at Chick-fil-a.  After breakfast James had to give me another shot.  So yes, James is mixing my syringe in the parking lot of Chick-fil-a!  The funny part was trying to hide what we were doing so no one would call the police on us!

We learned a log time ago you have to laugh through this process and find the things that are funny!  Mixing your fertility drugs in a parking lot is funny!  Another funny part was when James was giving me a shot one evening and I was watching The Big Bang Theory and started laughing while the needle was in my stomach....NOT a good idea!

After the sonogram and blood work we hung out til we got the results.  We weren't sure if we were staying in town or if we were going back home and wait til I was ready for retrieval.  After the blood work came back we received news that we weren't expecting.  We were told that the drugs I had been taking did not work like they had hoped.  What this meant was that the only two follicles that were big enough were the only two that grew to size.  We were pretty much told that this was a failed cycle and to stop the medicine and wait for a cycle then let my body rest one month.  After that my doctor would change my medicine and hope I would respond better to the new medicine.

To say that I was surprised is a huge understatement.  I never saw this coming and I never thought this could happen.  I know I'm not getting any younger and I know it's only going to get harder for me to get pregnant the older I get.

The only thought I have after this is I don't want any what if's.  What if we stopped?  What if this new medicine doesn't work? Are we disappointed.....yes!

I'm so thankful for our families who encourage us everyday!  We decided to keep our IVF cycles very private this time.  It's so hard going through this journey and with everyone knowing and asking you how things are going.  We just don't need the added pressure.

I want to leave you with this picture.  This picture will give you a glimpse of what I'm going through.  After twenty two shots this is how swollen my stomach is.  I tried to suck in but just couldn't...haha!!

Excuse the unmade bed and laundry basket....I was just about to climb into bed and took this picture.

Little did I know we were "pregnant" and Brooks would be born two months later!  I don't know why I'm always surprised by God's timing but I am.  Fertility is such a difficult and private process.  I just want to encourage you if you know someone going through fertility treatments, please be patient!  If you have never gone through this you really don't understand and please don't say you do.  All you need to do is love them and encourage them.

Brooks 2 months!!

Brooks I can't believe you're two months!  I seriously want to freeze time.  I can't even describe how sweet you are.  You are the easiest baby and the only time you cry is when you're hungry.  You do have a little temper when you're hungry and you pout which is seriously the cutest thing I've ever seen!

Here are some of the things you are doing these days.....

You weigh 10.7 pounds! 15th percentile.

You are 23.1 inches long!  60th percentile.

You are sleeping through the night.  I give you a bottle about 11 p.m. and you wake up around 5:45 a.m.  Mommy LOVES this!!

You are wearing size 0-3 clothes.

Size one in diapers.

You have to be swaddled to sleep.

You started rolling over from tummy to back.  You have done this three times and I still haven't seen you do it.  I put you on tummy time and leave the room and come back and you're on your back.  I've tried to record you rolling over but you won't do it....haha!!

You are cooing and talking.

You have the SWEETEST smile!!

You love your sister and she is CRAZY about you.  Anytime she is talking you look for her and just smile.

You love to grab her hair and then smile when she screams to let go.  I can only imagine what this will be like in the next year.

You love your momma! When you've been fussy for dad all I have to do is talk to you and you just smile and everything is ok again.  I love this by the way!

You went to your first Texas Tech football game and slept the whole time.

You have had your second haircut...haha!

There's not a day that goes by that we don't fall more in love with this little guy!  He is a perfect fit for our family!

Happy 2 months Mr. Brooks!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Brooks' Nursery

I finally finished Brooks' nursery and I LOVE it!!  I had so much fun decorating a little boys room.  After looking at tons of nursery's I decided to decorate his room in airplanes.  I had so much fun finding all the pieces for his room.

James was a trooper when it came to painting.  It was a three day project.  Thankfully James was up for painting stripes and I was thankful for his help.  Painting stripes takes a lot of work but I love the way it turned out.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Farrah's greatest decision.....

Last night James was putting Farrah to bed while I was feeding Brooks.  James will read her a book then pray then kiss her goodnight.  James came walking into the living room and said "Please tell me you heard Farrah on the monitor?"  I didn't hear anything of course.

James told me that Farrah had prayed then he prayed then she said "Dad, I need to pray again."  She said, "Jesus, I pray that you would come live in my heart and forgive me for my sins.  Amen."  James was totally shocked by this.  Farrah has been talking about this for a while now and we knew she was getting close but wasn't sure she really understood what it was all about.

After James told me I went into her room and she was asleep but I just sat on her bed and felt incredibly blessed.  Blessed to be her mom, blessed to call her mine and blessed that she will truly know the love of Christ.  There isn't a day that goes by that this little girl doesn't blow my mind.  She has such a loving heart and so passionate and I can't wait to see what she will do for the Kingdom!

So proud of Farrah and this life changing decision she made!

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Halloween 2014

Halloween this year was so much fun!  The past couple of years, Farrah has chosen her costumes but this year I wanted to surprise her.  I couldn't decide between two costumes,,,,a pirate or a super hero.  I was leaning toward a pirate then Brooks was born so I changed it to super hero's.

Farrah was Spider girl and she was cracking us up.  She put on her costume and was so into character.  She would put her mask on and would jump off the furniture and shoot her webs...I have no idea where she learned that from but it was funny to watch her.  Brooks was to small for a costume but I did find him a Superman onsie so that's what he had.  I also found James and I super hero t-shirts.  James was Batman and I was Captain America.  It was fun and Farrah loved it!!

This year our church had their Truck or Treat on Wednesday.  Farrah loved running around with her little friends and playing on the jumpers.  On Friday we took her and her cousins to the Vintage to go trick or treating.  It was so fun watching her and her cousins.  Farrah had a blast and Brooks slept the whole time...haha!!