For the last two to three years I've considered observing Lent and "giving" up something for forty days. In the past I've given up cokes or sugar and it was ok, but didn't really feel any different. This year I really wanted to be challenged. I wanted a change in my heart and in my family.
After talking to friends and James I really prayed on what I needed to do. I'm expecting a lot of answers and promises in the next forty days. After praying, I heard from God and what I heard scares me. I have some friends who are reading the New Testament for forty days til Easter. I have decided that would be really good for me, and I'm really enjoying it.
Now the hard part for me was deciding what to "give up" for forty days. Like I said, that was the part that scared me the most. After praying about this I texted James what I was going to do. His response was...."Oh wow, that's going to be a challenge!" I didn't ask James to partake in my fasting but on his own he said he would do it as well.
The next part was me telling Farrah. This fasting not only affects me but Farrah as well. For forty days I have felt lead to not buy anything personal for me or Farrah. This means no clothes for myself or Farrah and no toys for Farrah. Before you think I'm being mean to Farrah, I want to explain. Farrah has an abundance of clothes and toys. She received so many toys and clothes for Christmas and her birthday that she actually has to much. I'm all for buying my child a toy or something she wants but its getting out of control. Every time we go to Target she asks for something (which is normal for any kid). I'm usually pretty good at saying no most of the time but its the dollar isle that kills me. It's only a dollar! But I started discovering that Farrah wasn't appreciating her things. She expected it and sometimes demanded it. I knew there had to be a change.
I explained to Farrah about Lent, and she had some great questions. I answered the best way I knew how. Then I explained what our fast was going to be and her response wasn't what I expected. She CRIED! At first I wasn't sure she understood what I was saying. I asked her why she was crying and she said "This is going to be hard." I told her yes it was not going to be easy but Jesus didn't call us to do "easy" things in life.
After she calmed down and was ok with the idea it had me thinking. It made me realize that I was spot on what God had told me. This is going to be hard, but it's nothing compared to what Christ did for us. It's also a time to reflect on our own lives and weed out the things we no longer need. Change is good but change is hard.
I'm excited to see what God is going to reveal to our family over the forty days. I'm expecting a lot. I want to change. I want to be closer to God. I want to let go of hurts from the past. I want to forgive. I want to be new in Him.
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