Farrah ask's about her adoption

I was looking through all the pictures on my phone the other day and decided I needed to post them so I woundn't forget. Farrah is at such a fun age right now.

She's really putting things together right now. The other night we were eating dinner and Farrah was asking about moms. "Nana, is you mom, mommy and Lula is daddy's mom....right?" "Yes honey"...then she surprised us both with saying "I have two moms. I have a birth mom and my real mom." James looked at her and told her..."Yes, baby your right." I was to emotional to speak at the moment. Emotional, because we are proud of where she came from and we want her to be as well. We've always wanted Farrah to know that she was adopted. We never wanted it to be a secret because we felt that that was apart of her story and her journey. We have books that we read that talks about adoption and I tell her about her birth mom. Up until now she has never asked or even spoken about it. I just thought it hadn't clicked yet or she did quite understand yet. It taught me a lesson though....your children are listening and watching, even when you think they're not.

Farrah hasn't said anything else about her adoption but she is asking about when she's going to get a little brother or sister. I asked her the other day if she wanted mom to have a baby in her tummy or adopt and she said "Adopt!" I asked her why and she told me "Daddy, doesn't want your tummy big! He would be mad!" I just started laughing and told her "That daddy DOES want mommy's tummy big." She's not convinced...haha!!

Now for the photo display...

A couple of weeks ago we saw our friends from the UK, Norman and Grace Barnes.  They were such a vital part in praying for Farrah to come and her adoption.  We were sad to hear that they will come to the states one more time next year and then retire in the UK.  We have plans to see them when they're here for an anniversary celebration.

Farrah's BFF's, Molly and Jack.  These three are so fun together!

Farrah started dance last week and was so excited to find out that Heather was going to be her teacher and her friend, Selah was in her class.

This picture cracks me up....Farrah wanted to go outside and play.  She had morning chores to do before she could play outside but decided she didn't want to.  So this was her reaction....haha!!

Farrah loves playing in my bathtub.  She was giving her babies a bath in my "swimming pool."

Farrah has been doing great a soccer this season!  She scored five goals this last game and for the season so far she has scored 19 goals!!

Slowing Down...

I am happy to say for the last couple of weeks we have been slow here at the Fortner house and it makes me happy.  Don't get me wrong, I love to be busy but things change when you have a family.  God has really been speaking to my heart to slow down and rest.  Rest in his presence, rest from activities and rest from the outside world.  

So many times I get caught up with what my friends and family are doing and the more I get caught up in their lives the more I get my feelings hurt.  Hurt that I'm not the one their hanging out with anymore.  But I know God has brought me to this season for a reason and I beginning to really see it now, and to tell you the truth it's exciting! 

I'm reading this book/bible study The Home Experience by Devi Titus.  It talks about the importance of home and the dinner table.  My parents always taught me that our home never belonged to us...it belongs to God.  Our home was always open to anyone who needed it.  There were always youth gatherings like game night or bible study at our house.  My parents had guests over for meals and those are some of my most precious moments I have has a child.  In this book it talks about your home being a safe place.  A place where people are welcome and feel the Spirit of the Lord, they feel peace, joy and comfort.  She talks about your home being a gathering place for your family and how important it is to have your meals at your dinner table.  We have always ate at the dinner table but was convicted....we have the TV on or we're on our cell phones.  James and I talked about it and now the TV is off and the cell phones aren't allowed the table.  If you call us or text us we will not answer til dinner is over.  

The last month I have learned to slow down for Farrah.  She has a fairly busy schedule but James and I prayed about any activities we put her in before we do it and have Farrah's best interest at heart.  She does KDO two days a week, she plays soccer, gymnastics and tap and ballet.  There are four days where Farrah and I are home all day...those days are my favorite.  It's truly a day where I get caught up on laundry and house stuff and Farrah can move at her own pace.  I turn on music and we dance a lot, we play outside, we go and feed the ducks and have some really interesting conversations.  Farrah is asking some really great questions about Jesus and how her friends say things and react to things....such great lessons being learned.   To be honest I'm very selfish with these days...I cherish these days at home.  

I've had to learn one little word that has always been hard for me to say....No.  And can I tell you it's so freeing!  Of course I love saying yes to everything but deep down all it does is make make tired.  The hardest thing for me my whole life and you can ask my mom, is being left out.  But during this season I must put my family first.  Farrah starts school next year and I know it will start to fly by so fast.  We will have more family time and start a tradition my parents did for us....Friday night is family night.  

We loved Friday nights at our house growing up!  That was the one night we would just do what we wanted to as a family.  Dad would take our orders and go get what we wanted...Mom usually wanted a hamburger from Burger Kitchen, Lance usually wanted Sonic, Shawna usually wanted McDonalds and I wanted Mac and Cheese....haha!  We would either play a board game/card game or rent a movie.  Having three kids we rotated on who would choose the movie.  The older we got we would invite friends over.  Mom and dad knew that it was important to keep a house that our friends would come over.  That way my parents knew the decisions were being made were good decisions.  

I'm excited to see this next season holds for my family and I encourage you to do the same thing.  I promise you won't regret it!  

Our family night was a trip to the Pumpkin Trail...so much fun!!

Then we came back for a game....Farrah's choice.

Our new home!!

It's crazy to think we've been in our home for one month now!  We're still getting settled in.  I asked James if it felt like home yet and his response was "I'm getting there.  I'm still waking up during the middle of the night and I have no idea where I'm at...haha"  I do agree with him.  Not home yet but its becoming more like home everyday.

I had Farrah at the apartment cleaning up and I told her to say goodbye to the apartment and she said "Goodbye!!  I hope to never see you again!!!"  We had no idea how unhappy Farrah was living in the apartment.  She was such a trooper and had a good attitude about it but she is so happy to have a house again!  We never see her...she is always playing in her room or playing outside.

Now that we're in the house so many have asked to see pictures so I took a few so you can get the idea.  It's a work in progress and I need to order some pieces of furniture and James is going to build some bookshelves for our living room.  We also have to put together the flowerbed in the front yard.  I can't wait til that project happens.  I love getting my hands dirty and planting flowers!

 Entry way

Guest bedroom.  This is the one room that's not really decorated yet.  I'm waiting til I go to Canton the end of the month to find stuff for this room.

Farrah's bathroom

Farrah's room

Living Room

Kitchen/Dining

Master bedroom

Master bathroom

My next purchase will be curtains!  I have so many prints in our house so its been a little more difficult finding curtains that won't clash with rugs (dining room) or our bedroom (comforter).

Fitting in....

This blog post is pretty much for myself....so just a warning!

This past month James started his new job with Chevron.  I am so excited to see my husband doing what he loves.  He is such and outdoor kinda guy.  He's learning so much everyday and comes home with so many stories.  He is one of six Fortner men working in the oilfield so he has a big reputation to uphold.

This week has really set in that James is no longer on staff at our church. This week is my all time favorite week of the year.  It's the SMI and Pursue Mission Conference.  This week is exhausting but so amazing.  We have so many international friends coming in for this conference so it's like a big family reunion.

This week has been really hard on me. Usually James and I are making trips to the airport or the hotel and taking our friends to dinner and to church for meetings.  This week we're not doing any of those things.  These things may seem small to you but we have learned that these times are precious.  We have gotten to really fellowship and really get to know our friends during these times.  It's hard seeing pictures of the staff with our friends and we're not apart of it.  I think the hardest part for me is I was ministered so much by these wonderful people.  They prayed for us as a family before Farrah was born.  I LOVED getting to introduce Farrah to them.  Talk about seeing your prayers being answered when you have prayed for my family to have a child....such a blessing to us and to them as well.

This is such a strange season for me personally.  This season I am trying to find my identity again.  For the last eight years I was a pastor's wife.  With that comes a lot of responsibility.  Visiting with people, loving on people, praying with people and helping where we're needed.

Now in this season I feel like I don't belong anywhere.  Our close friends are on staff with the church and they're super busy.  Don't get me wrong...I know we can still minister but it's just not the same.  We really loved being apart of a staff that loves and serves Christ.  We have been taught so many things being on staff at COTR.  We went on our very first mission trip to the Czech Republic and were given a love for the world that we never thought possible.

I know this season won't last forever and I will one day turn around and be thankful for this season.

Summer coming to an end...

We've had a very slow summer and it's been wonderful!  We didn't go anywhere big on vacation this year.  This year we stayed home and tied up loose ends, like building a new house and James finishing up one job and starting a new job.

We played at the park a lot this summer.

Farrah loved swimming lessons this year!  She can swim all my herself!  She thinks she's big enough to not wear a life jacket but I'm not quite ready for that part just yet....maybe next summer.

Some friends and I went to the Coach Kingsberry coaching clinic for women and we had a BLAST!!

We even enjoyed some much needed rain here in Lubbock!

Uncle Lance took Farrah on a turtle hunt....there are a lot of turtles in their back yard.

We're building a new house!!!

I took Farrah on her very first ropes course and she LOVED it!

We did LOTS of swimming.

We enjoyed music and a movie in the park.

We had the pleasure of going to see Meme.

But my favorite part of the summer was learning to slow down and enjoy the sunsets!

Another great summer and I can't believe my baby is going to Pre-K!!!

New beginnings....

It's been a wonderful, crazy summer for the Fortner's!  We've spent a lot of time at the pool and with family.  It's also been a season of change for our family.

As of today, James started a new job with Chevron.  He is so excited to be working outside again.  He's loved working at Church on the Rock but his heart is outdoors.  The last couple of weeks for James have been crazy.  He's worked a lot of late nights trying to get everything ready for the new person.  He wanted it to be an easy transition for her.  

There were a lot of mixed emotions with leaving the church.  Excitement of course but heartache at the same time.  James and I have been blessed with an incredible church family.  We were taught so many things and have such a deeper love and relationship with God because of COTR.  We discovered a love for God's people and the world that we didn't have before COTR.  We have traveled the world and met so many incredible people through missions and COTR. 

The most important thing for me is the friendships we've had at COTR.  With all our struggles with infertility and then the joy of bringing home Farrah....our friends and COTR family have been there every step of the way.  We were blessed that James got a job where we can stay in Lubbock for about another year so we can still attend COTR.  

The hardest part was telling James' assistant bye.  Sharon has been such an incredible support to James.  She has stood behind him in so many ways and supported his decisions.  Sharon has prayed for our family from the day James started working at COTR.  She has prayed for Farrah before she was even born and everyday since.  Farrah loves going to her office and sitting and talking with Sharon.  Sharon has heard some really good and funny stories from Farrah.  Sharon always has Farrah's favorite candy in her desk....just for her.  We love and will miss seeing Sharon!

Here's a little funny story.  We were cleaning James' office out and James had a few dead animals in there.  Farrah wanted to pet them so badly but was scared of them.  I asked her if she wanted to touch them and she asked "Will they bite me??"  No, honey...they're dead!

Another exciting thing for us is we're building a house and we will be moving in a couple of weeks....Praise the Lord!!  Once we're in the house I'll post more pictures.

Now that summer is coming to an end....I'll do a blog about all we did this summer.

July 4th!!!

We had a crazy and fun July 4th!  We always attend the 4th on Broadway parade here in Lubbock.  It's always so much fun watching Farrah as she takes in all the sights and sounds.

This year was the first year Farrah was able to see fireworks.  When she was one, it rained so much that it was canceled.  When she was two the drought was so bad that it was canceled.  Last year when she was three was also canceled due to the drought and I was also out of town in the Czech Rep.  This year we finally had a firework show...and it was amazing.  Farrah LOVED it!

Farrah had a blast dancing to the music and wrestling with mom and dad...