Rough day...

So today I went to my new OBGYN. I really like him so much! I like that he is very forward, to tell you the truth I needed this today. After his exam Dr. discovered that I do in fact have problems getting pregnant. He said that I have endometriosis. So this answers a lot of questions. This is quite possibly why for eight years we have not gotten pregnant. He did find other things that weren't right and didn't help my case for fertility but I don't really feel like giving the details in that. (It's a little to personal.) He did say with all the factors added up that we have a 10-15% chance of ever getting pregnant. So this was a little shocking! I think in the back of my mind I already knew this but when you hear it in percentage wise its a little shocking. 15%!!!! Dr. did tell me that he was not the doctor for me and he could not help me get pregnant but when I did get pregnant he would deliver our babies. So I have an appointment for sometime in January to see my new fertility specialist...and I will go in with a good attitude.

So having time to digest this just hurts. I have incredible friends and family who are so supportive and love us so much! All I could think about was I just wanted to hold Farrah. Farrah can make my hurt go away. She is such a gift from God and I know He is not done giving us children. I would love to know how it feels to be pregnant but if God chooses for another lady to carry my babies then great! It doesn't make it any easier though. I have no idea what it feels like to hear my babies heart beat, to see it for the first time on a sonogram, to find out the sex, to feel a life move inside of you or to actually bring a baby into this world.

But I know one thing for sure...with all the support from my incredible friends and family we will make it through this. We have been so down and felt the weight of the world on our shoulders and have always managed to pick our self up, dust off and go on with the help of family, friends and my God!!

I will have more tears and more hurts and I would love to be really honest with my feelings but this is not the place. So thank you Kelsey and Abby for seeing the crying side of me today. Thank you James, mom, Shawna and Jean for loving me for me. This is not easy to go through but having y'all by my side is a little easier.

7months!!

Every month I say how time flies and this month is no different!! I can't believe that you are already seven months! You are keeping us VERY busy.

What your up to these days...

You LOVE yogurt. You have decided to eat nothing but yogurt. I have to hide your "real" food inside the yogurt for you to eat it.

You weigh just a little of 15 pounds.

You still wear 3-6 months in clothes.

You still wear size 2 in diapers.

You love to "talk" and get really loud.

Your jumping! You love your Johnny Jump. You go crazy in that thing.

Your clapping your hands. Every time you start clapping I say Yeah Farrah and you love clapping to that.



You are sitting up really good.

I find you sleeping on your tummy a lot more often.

Your favorite time is still bath time. I think you get more water out of the tub then stays in the tub.

The older you get and more "real" food you eat the more you gross your dad out when he changes your diapers. I sorta like this...it makes me laugh!!

You smile all the time! You LOVE to laugh and you have the sweetest little laugh.

You love your daddy. Every time he comes home from work your entire body just lights up and so does his!!

I get stopped every day to see that beautiful baby. I think one day I was shopping and I got stopped seven different times in the same store.

Farrah we love you more then you'll ever know. We are blessed by you!! There's not one day that we don't just sit and watch you and are amazed by you. Thank goodness God trusted us with you.

Trip Down Memory Lane...

This Friday night is Levelland's homecoming. I love this time of year!! James and I both have such great memories of high school and James playing football is at the top of the list. James was a great football player! He was the first one to rush for over 1,000 yards in one season since the 1970's. He was also captain of the football team. He was such a great player and a great friend to so many on his team.

So tomorrow we are taking some friends to Levelland's homecoming. I think its always so much fun going back home and seeing all the memories we made there. I was looking at some pictures from back in the day and oh my goodness! We were so young. I remember homecoming James' senior year was against Snyder. They were a tough team but Levelland pulled it off and won homecoming. I was so happy that James had such a great senior year. He went off the next year and walked on and played for Texas Tech for a year.

There are so many great memories. After each game all the girlfriends would go to the field house and wait for the guys to come back. James was ALWAYS the last one to leave the field house. I remember being the only girl in the parking lot and finally James would come out. I asked him one time why he was always the last one and his response was that he had gotten beat up so much running the ball that he was so tired and sore that he couldn't move. So after that I never rushed him out of the field house.

James thanks for making such wonderful memories with me in high school and through all the years! There are some great memories and they all have you in them!!

James' senior football picture. (Isn't he so cute!!)



James and me after winning homecoming. Awww so young!



James was my date for homecoming all through high school. I even kept my mums. They kept getting bigger and better every year! I can't wait to show Farrah on day.

Shoes!!

My friend sent me this link to the PRECIOUS shoes! Thanks Kelsey, the only bad thing is I want them in every color!! If I pass on anything to Farrah I want to give her the love of wonderful shoes!! Sorry James....but you know how I LOVE shoes!





I will be placing an order VERY soon!!

I would love to put a link so you can see them for yourself so if anyone can tell me how to put a link up please do!

Oh sweet baby!!

Farrah made my day!!! I love this little girl with every ounce of my being! Today she wasn't feeling to hot. I had bible study at church this morning and when I went to pick up Farrah she was exhausted so I took her home for a nap. Usually she won't sleep on my shoulder or let me hold her when she's ready for bed. But today she actually took a nap on my chest. I have wanted this day forever! Even when she was in NICU she would not sleep on mine or James' chest she only wanted to be cradled which was great at the time but now I just want to hold her while she sleeps sometimes. Oh but today I finally got to rock her to sleep on my shoulder and oh my goodness what a wonderful feeling. I could have stayed there for hours holding this little bundle. I loved looking at her. I loved how she breathed on my cheek, loved how she slept with one eye half open, loved how she slept with her mouth open, I loved looking at her little ears, loved looking at the fold in her little neck and loved listening to her snore. Oh how I love you little Miss!! Thank you for making my day!

This is not a very good picture of Farrah but I want you to see these shoes. I came home with these shoes five years ago!! I remember when I showed them to James he just fell in love with them. I remember praying that one day we would have little feet to wear those little shoes. I can't even describe the feeling I had when I actually put those shoes on Farrah for the first time. Thank you Lord for being faithful!!

Girls being girls...

Our church started a ladies bible study a couple of weeks ago. Its the Beth Moore study "Ester, It's Tough Being a Woman." We've only been going the last two weeks and it is already so powerful! It's really got me thinking about being a woman and how I think the way I think and to know that it's totally normal. Well normal for this girl anyways. Beth talked about being comfortable in our own skin. All the hormones and finding balance between family and work and friends and then yielding to not only our husbands but to any authority figures whether it be at work or the government. And then this week Beth talked about tragedy. Ester did not have a mother or a father and was raised by her male cousin who was not married aswell as how God chose Ester.

Now that I have Farrah in my life I think about the what if...what happens if something happened to me or to both James and I. How would Farrah be taken care of? So I don't want to think about that, but Beth made some really good points. Who teaches girls to be a lady? Her momma. Who plays house with the children? Momma. Who eats from their child's hand not knowing where that hand has been? Momma. When Farrah first arrived I was so worried about my house and I thought it would never be clean again. I had Farrah at my mom's office one day and I was telling some of the ladies that mom works with this "problem" about my house never being clean and all the ladies told me "Your house will be clean in twenty years. Hold you baby now because you will turn around and she will be grown and out of the house." They told me they cleaned way to much and didn't play enough. So after that it got me to thinking. We waited for Farrah for so long and I want to cherish every bit of her being this little. She has already grown so fast, so if she wants me to hold her all day long I will. I can clean when she naps. When I get paged at church with her number I will happily go and get her because she wants her mommy. I will not sweat the small things in life and I am choosing to "play" and not clean.

Beth also talked about how women treat other women. How we get excited that our closest friend gains five pounds and we are so happy!! That is horrible but I'm just as guilty as the next. I found out that this starts with me. I don't have a great self image about myself. We took a picture before the Tech game and I look at the picture and could not find one good thing to say about myself! So the challenge this week for the bible study is to stop sizing up ladies but to encourage them! Find something precious about every lady you come in contact with. So I started today and you know its a choice to think this way. It was so much fun finding a positive about a lady. For some reason its hard for me to voice that to my friends but I want to be known as a girl who finds the good in everybody. Not for the girl who talks badly about people because I know I don't want to be friends with people like that.

So all you ladies who have made a difference in my life, THANK YOU!! To all my friends and family you mean the world to me! Mom thank you for teaching me how to be a lady and playing house with me and Shawna and eating all of our Easy Bake Oven cakes!!

Go Tech!

Farrah experienced her first Texas Tech home game. She was great!! I just knew she would freak out at all the noise but she didn't! She didn't fuss hardly at all, just when she was tired. She even took a thirty minute nap during the loudest part of the game. James had to work tonight so we missed him. I was a little worried how I was going to carry everything and a baby because it was cold and windy. I had her coat, blanket and diaper bag and baby and never missed a beat.

Go Tech!





While I was getting Farrah to sleep I had like three different men come up to me and ask about my necklace. Their wive's sent them to ask me where I got it!! James would never do that! I thought about it later and I should of told them I would sell it for the right price!! Oh well next time.

Lions and Tigers and Bears Oh My...

We headed to Sweetwater with Heath and Kelsey Friday for the annual dove hunt that Heath's friends do. We had a great time! The boys went hunting all day Saturday. They left around 5am and I didn't see James til 5pm when we had to leave to come back to Lubbock to work. So while the boys went hunting us girls played. We had started off with breakfast with Kelsey and Madison and Angie and Brenley and me and Farrah. We took the girls to the Abilene Zoo. I have to say it was a pretty good little zoo. We say some pretty impressive animals. Of course my favorite part are always the giraffe's. These animals totally amaze me. I could stand for hours and watch them. The big girls, Madison and Brenley even got to feed the giraffe's. That was pretty fun to watch. I don't think Farrah was all that impressed with the animals. She would look but had no idea what she was looking at.

After the zoo we went to lunch at a really great Chinese restaurant. It was pretty funny because both Kelsey and Angie are both pregnant and neither of their husbands like Chinese food so they were pretty excited to be eating it. Lunch wasn't so exciting for me. The food was great but Farrah was not!! I think she screamed the entire time. Not the scream that she mad, the scream that announces that she's here! She was so loud and of course everyone would turn around and stare. I think we are getting to the age that we are not restaurant friendly...just for a little while.

After lunch we headed to the big town of Clyde. Home of the legendary Heath Watts!! I must say pretty impressive. I think there might be a total of ten streets in the entire town...just kidding I don't know but it is a really small town. It was fun getting to see where Heath and Kelsey have spent alot of their time. And it was really fun getting to meet their friends. I get to put a face with names now. In the afternoon we headed to Kelsey's friends house, Amy and hung out there so the girls could play. There were a lot of ladies there and all of the babies. I think I counted and there were seven ladies and out of the seven ladies there were six baby girls all under the age of two!! There was one older little girl, Allie and I think she was seven. So we had a house full of girls!! It was so fun just talking to everyone and seeing all the babies everywhere!! Unfortunately James and I had to leave before the big cookout that night. I think in all they were going to have around 50 people. Next year we will plan better so we can stay for the cookout.

What a fun weekend. Thanks Heath and Kelsey for inviting us and it was so much fun meeting your incredible friends!!

The girls enjoying the zoo.

Tough Day!

Well tough afternoon. We had our weekly play date and had a wonderful time. Farrah showed off her sitting on her own. (sigh) I say it all the time but she is getting so big so fast!

This afternoon Farrah had her six month well check and shots. She is growing so big. She weighs 14lbs 15oz (35th percentile), 26.8 inches tall (90th percentile) and head 16.9 inches (75th percentile). She is still tall and skinny! Farrah also had shots today. This round was really rough. I have never seen her cry like this before! Talk about break your heart. I know I'm doing the right thing for her but its hard when something so good is so painful!

She loves the paper on the exam table and by the time Dr. G came into the room Farrah had the paper destroyed!!! She loves anything that crinkles!



After shots. We will be using our boo boo bunny tonight! She has her two favorite things...her blanket and her thumb. Sweet baby girl!