Thursday, April 7, 2011

God's Promises

Since January we've been going through fertility treatments starting with surgery for me and now we've gone through two rounds of IUI and now here we are.

With the surgery we had such a great support team and were supported by prayer and encouraging words. With the first IUI we shared the process with a lot of people and I'm glad we did but then it was sure hard having to tell everyone we weren't pregnant. With the second IUI we've been a little more quiet about it. If you've never been through this process then you won't understand why but we had to protect our family and ourselves this time. Don't get me wrong, if you ask us how things are going we will tell you the truth.

With all the hormones rushing through my body I've had some pretty high highs and some really low lows. Today James and I were having lunch and talking about this cycle and I just had to ask James about what he thought cause right now I just don't get it! I must say today was a low day for me....I've always been told and even read scripture that God knows the desires of your heart, but today I asked James to look it up and read it (I was driving) and it reads Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4. It doesn't say He knows the desires, it says He will GIVE you the desires of your heart. I had to sit and process this one for a little bit.

I dropped James off at work and I had some time before I had to pick up Farrah and I had some time to myself, which doesn't happen very often but it gave me time to think. Then I get a text from James and he had this scripture laid upon his heart and he said it was for me today and it's Psalms 21: 2-7. I read it and it just made me smile. When you go through this process of infertility you have lots of questions. The question I struggle with the most is am I trying to control trying to get pregnant. I serve a mighty God and He can do ALL things. This process is not a "natural" way and I'm injecting chemicals into my own body and trying to "make" it happen. After praying about this I do have a lot of peace or we wouldn't be doing this.

Tonight I was putting Farrah to bed and I read her a book and then a bible story and tonight's bible story was "A Baby for Sarah." The verse is Numbers 23:19 God said, "What God promises, He keeps." At the end of each story there are questions you can ask your child and the questions were What did God promise Abraham and Sarah? A baby! What did God say? What God promises, He keeps. Who keeps His promises to you? God!!

After I read this story to Farrah I had to chuckle because my God knows me so well! He knew I needed to be reminded of His promises....more children. I love how "easy" God's word is and I hate how hard I make it. Yes, today was a little rough but I have the promise of God! Is it hard? Yes! Am I going to fail? Yes! Will I have more children? I don't know but I do know I have the promise of God!

I am so thankful for the wonderful support of family and friends that we have. I will get past this all while serving a mighty God!

2 comments:

Marsha:) said...

Jennifer~
i was just about to go lay my little head down for the night. And I came across your blog. Touched my heart so much ~ that it brought tears to my eyes. You & James are so special to David & I. You both have gone through so much & have become wonderful parents. We have prayed right along with you for years. Farrah is so blessed to have you as her parents ~ & you were so blessed too! I don't know ~ how the Lord will choose to bless you with another priceless gift of joy. But I believe in my heart that He will give both of you the desire of your heart.
Love you both~ now I am going to lay that head down.nite~ nite! =0 ) ~~ Marsha

Misti said...

Beautiful post Jenn! I am praying for you and James.