Fitting in....

This blog post is pretty much for myself....so just a warning!

This past month James started his new job with Chevron.  I am so excited to see my husband doing what he loves.  He is such and outdoor kinda guy.  He's learning so much everyday and comes home with so many stories.  He is one of six Fortner men working in the oilfield so he has a big reputation to uphold.

This week has really set in that James is no longer on staff at our church. This week is my all time favorite week of the year.  It's the SMI and Pursue Mission Conference.  This week is exhausting but so amazing.  We have so many international friends coming in for this conference so it's like a big family reunion.

This week has been really hard on me. Usually James and I are making trips to the airport or the hotel and taking our friends to dinner and to church for meetings.  This week we're not doing any of those things.  These things may seem small to you but we have learned that these times are precious.  We have gotten to really fellowship and really get to know our friends during these times.  It's hard seeing pictures of the staff with our friends and we're not apart of it.  I think the hardest part for me is I was ministered so much by these wonderful people.  They prayed for us as a family before Farrah was born.  I LOVED getting to introduce Farrah to them.  Talk about seeing your prayers being answered when you have prayed for my family to have a child....such a blessing to us and to them as well.

This is such a strange season for me personally.  This season I am trying to find my identity again.  For the last eight years I was a pastor's wife.  With that comes a lot of responsibility.  Visiting with people, loving on people, praying with people and helping where we're needed.

Now in this season I feel like I don't belong anywhere.  Our close friends are on staff with the church and they're super busy.  Don't get me wrong...I know we can still minister but it's just not the same.  We really loved being apart of a staff that loves and serves Christ.  We have been taught so many things being on staff at COTR.  We went on our very first mission trip to the Czech Republic and were given a love for the world that we never thought possible.

I know this season won't last forever and I will one day turn around and be thankful for this season.